Does getting invited out with friends make you nervous?
Do you go out & everyone is having a fabulous time but you just can’t seem to enjoy yourself?
You put on that fake smile we all do so well & pretend to laugh when needed.
But in reality we know we’d much rather be at home in our comfort zone than out & about where we really don’t want to be.
This has happen to me a lot. I look forward to things, then when the day comes I get all worked up about going.
I over think about who, where, when & why about every little detail.
I get nervous about meeting new people as I’m worried about what they will think of me, sad but true.
I hate it. I want to enjoy myself. I want to have a fabulous time too. I want to let my hair down & live in the moment. But usually my anxiety & over thinking takes over to ruin the whole thing.
It’s terrible, I use to be such a social person but over the last few years since my CPTSD has gotten worse I just don’t seem to enjoy myself as much as I use too.
Because of all the over thinking, we put so much pressure on what’s going to happen before it’s even happened. Then we expect things to go a certain way but when they don’t go the way we’ve thought about for days & weeks we get disappointed.
The other thing is I can also get triggered while I’m out, I can have flashbacks & that’s horrible when you are with people who dont really understand it. I dont want to make the situation all about me cause Iv gone into a triggered state. So Iv thought over the last few years its easier not to go so these things dont happen.
Now I’m trying not to put so much pressure on going out & just going with the flow. Whatever happens happens.
Usually when I do that it stops the anxiety while I’m out & I tend to enjoy myself so much more than I would when I put pressure on it. If I do have a flashback I excuse myself, go to the bathroom put some water on my face & remind myself that I’m safe & nothing is going to happen. I know its hard to do after a flashback but it can be done. You can get past it & continue to have a wonderful time with your friends.
In saying that though, If you don’t feel up to going out cause your anxiety is too high or you just don’t feel like going to a certain place don’t go. Listen to yourself. If its a place or thing you’re not comfortable with then speak up, your friends will understand. Maybe suggest somewhere else you know you’ll be able to have a good time
But dont do it all the time, get yourself out there & enjoy life. We’ve had trauma & its a horrible terrible thing but we need a live where we have fun & are surround by people we love & love us. Get out of your comfort zone, you might surprise yourself & have an amazing time.
Less over thinking, live in the moment & more enjoyment for all!