Complex PTSD & Friendship

Iv read & been told that being honest with your friends is the best option when you aren’t doing the best.

So lately Iv been completely honestly with them & told them how I’m really doing. It’s meant to be the best thing for both of us in the friendship.

Unfortunately that hasn’t been the case for me at all. Iv been honest & everyone seemed to disappear quietly. Less calls & texts then simply no contact at all.

I need my friends now more than ever but they are no where to be seen. It’s heartbreaking.

I’m the type of person who’s always there for my friends no matter what so now that I’m in desperate need for them no one is there.

I’m starting to think that it was the worst mistake being honest with them. I should have kept my mouth shut & just pretended that everything was fine, that way I’d still have people around.

I know how hard it must be to hear that your friend is going through hell but it’s even harder to walk away & leave them.

I’m in my 30s now so the chances of making new friends isn’t really going to happen. Especially since I’m not even leaving the house these days.

Thankfully I have my husband who is also my best friend but sometimes you really need other friends to talk to about random things.

Have you experienced the same thing? What did you do?

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6 thoughts on “Complex PTSD & Friendship

  1. I have experienced this afterI had a ruptured brain aneurysm and emergency brain surgery. Months later my hubands chronic illness became so severe he was unable to continue working. Those were/still are some hard times. In addition to all of the traumas and losses in our life, I am dealing with Complex PTDS and Bipolar 2. I have had many friends and even family members walk away in the darkest most painful time of our life. How have I dealt with it? Sometimes with a lot of grief, anger, and tears. Sometimes I can be even somewhat thankful that only those who were true have remained. My circle is very small now- and today I am okay with that. Tomorrow may be a different story. Like you, I have always been the kind of rainy day friend who would never walk away from someone suffering. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is very painful to say the least.

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  2. Yes! When I broke down or whatever it is that happened last year I lost several of my “supportive” friends who knew the real me. I so regret telling them anything about anything. I’ve pretty much stopped sharing about stuff and found that no one can deal with knowing about my past. Pretty much save that for therapy. I’ve never told anyone except my hubby about the ptsd. So no one even knew about that. It can’t even explain it, but I suppose it was just too overwhelming.

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  3. To follow what Kayla wrote, this type of thing can happen if someone suffers from any type of physical problem. Most people don’t know how to talk to someone going through “recovery” … whether it’s from a brain aneurysm, cancer, or trauma. I remember an old movie, “Regarding Henry,” where Harrison Ford is an attorney who is shot in the head during a hold-up. He basically has to learn how to live all over again. How to talk, walk and eat. He becomes like a little child. He and his wife basically lose all their friends because no one knows how to deal with him OR her.

    If they don’t know what to say, some people just revert to saying nothing. And if you continue to try and talk to them about what you’re going through, it’s going to put them in a position where the only option they have is to retreat. I’d like to make a suggestion. Ask someone if it’s alright to talk to them about what’s bothering you before you do it. If they don’t feel comfortable, they’ll either say so or make an excuse and do something else. And that’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find though, that some will say “okay” … and those are the ones you can talk to. The rest of them? Talk about something else. (Or YOU can choose to distance yourself from them because you’d rather be around someone who was capable of being more sympathetic). You don’t necessarily have to make your recovery part of every conversation. Select the people that can help you with the recovery and talk to them. Think about it.

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    • Im sorry but i dont agree with that at all. You dont know the situation well enough to be commenting like that. My friends asked me to be more honest with them so I was. And I havent told them whats going on every time i spoke with them.
      I dont think what youre saying works for me at all.

      Like

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