I did what I said I was going to do. I took 2 days to myself.
I watched movies. I cried (a lot). I slept in & took naps throughout the day & caught up on sleep I desperately needed. I didn’t leave the house for 2 whole day. And the best part is it’s really helped. Doing things that made me happy really made a difference.
I feel like I’m ready to get back out there & deal with my day to day life.
It’s amazing what a few days of doing nothing can do for you.
As I said sometimes you really need to do that for yourself & just do what makes you happy.
I think it’s a good idea to set a time limit for yourself. Take a day or a few but don’t spend more than a week doing it cause we all know how quickly we can fall into a depressive slump. And we don’t want that cause it takes a lot more effort to get out of them.
Do what I do, send your loved ones a message & tell them you are taking some time out to get yourself together. Trust me its better to tell them as they do worry about us. They will be happy you told them & you will be happy that you aren’t bombarded with called & messages when you are taking some time out for yourself.
Don’t get me wrong you won’t be fixed (so to speak) after a few days of time out from the world but you will have recharged your batteries to deal with what’s to come next.
Look after yourself, be kind to yourself & take time out if you need it. You’ll be glad you did.
A few things have happened over the last couple of weeks & I can feel myself slipping into depressive slump.
It feels like it’s been one thing after another & now it’s snowballing out of control.
It’s a horrid feeling. I know that there is a strong possibility that things will get worse & I won’t want to leave the house or have anything to do with anyone.
The hardest part is that when I’m like this my flashbacks become really bad so not only am I down but Im also reliving my trauma which is hard to deal with at the best of time.
After all these years dealing with CPTSD Iv learned to listen to myself & how I’m feeling & how I’m reacting to situations.
So at the moment I’m not feeling good at all & I’m reacting terribly to situations.
At this point I can do one of two things. I can fall into the depressive slump & suffer in silence for days, weeks or possibly months. Or I can ask for help, talk it out & get through this difficult time.
Now that is the hardest part, Because the feelings of giving up out way the feeling of wanting to fight on.
I’m laying in my room with the curtains closed, the TV on some crap I’m not even watching & I feeling miserable, nothing could change this mood at the moment.
I could pick up the phone & call someone but the honest truth is that I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to explain what’s going on. I want to close the door & shut the world out for a few days.
I should be in class this afternoon but I can’t face the world right now. Thankfully I have amazingly supportive & understanding teachers.
A few days worth of sleep might help, as sleep & I aren’t getting along again. Iv tried mediation, sleeping tablets & tiring myself out but it’s just not working. I can’t seem to switch off.
I think I should just give myself a few days doing nothing. Resting. Watching movies that I love. Meditating (if it works). Sleeping. Just having some me time all alone & being kind to myself.
Hopefully after some much needed sleep, mental stimulation & relaxation I’ll be ready to tackle my everyday challenges.
Wish me luck.